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Sacrificing
My Sanity And Sleep In The Name Of Love
Does this sound familiar?
Did you have depression and/or anxiety before getting pregnant, and now you’re feeling unbelievably overwhelmed by the thought of how little sleep you’re going to get once the baby comes and if that might make things even worse for you mentally?
Are you someone who has never handled sleep deprivation well and you’re starting to worry how you’re possibly going to keep up at work when you only get a couple months' maternity leave and all your friends have warned you your baby probably won’t sleep through the night until they are at least 6 months old???
Have you just brought your baby home and you’re spiraling because they Will. Not. Sleep. in their bassinet and you’re so exhausted you’re starting to lose your mind?!?
Are you pregnant with your rainbow baby and continuing to spend more and more $$$ on baby products designed to help keep your baby safe because you’re terrified of SIDS?
Was sleep a total disaster with your first baby - to the point that you were dealing with PPD/PPA - and now that you’re expecting baby #2 you’re worried it will happen again if you can’t figure out how to get more rest?
Have been feeling so anxious or depressed during your pregnancy that you started medication, but you're terrified it will affect the baby in some way or are wondering if you’ll be able to breastfeed…
Know next to nothing about how to take care of a newborn and are panicking because you don’t feel ready to actually have this baby - to the point that a part of you thinks you made a huge mistake and another part of you feels SO guilty for thinking that because you tried for so long to get pregnant…
Are so desperate to get more than a 20-minute stretch of sleep overnight that you’ve started bedsharing with your newborn and want to stop but don’t know what else to do because you NEED sleep…
Maybe you...
First of all, there is NO judgment here.
You are NOT the only one feeling this way.
You are NOT a bad mom.
I know you’re doing your very best, and I am so proud of you for seeking help to get the support you need early on to prioritize your sleep and protect your mental health so you can be fully present with your new baby.
I help mommas just like you to build confidence in their parenting, maximize their sleep, preserve their sanity, and actually enjoy the newborn phase.
i WOULD DESCRIBE TARA'S APPROACH AS NO NONSENSE BUT ALSO WARM AND LOVING.
We loved working with Tara! I wish we had known her from night one! (We started with her a few weeks in). I would describe Tara's approach as no nonsense, but also warm and loving. She is incredibly knowledgeable, but also collaborative and a great listener. She also backs everything she suggests with research-based evidence, which I love. She was always so responsive to my texts and questions, which was hugely helpful. In general her support and knowledge was incredibly reassuring, and creating a schedule that worked for us - and helping us tweak it as our baby has gotten older has been super helpful!
- Kate S. (4-13 weeks)
How would I describe tara? savior, angel, magician.
How would I describe Tara? Savior, angel, magician. Straightforward, unflappable, good listener, knowledgable, science-based. There are innumerable “tactics” I learned that I would site as most helpful (amount of oz/sleep total that’s needed; emphasis on routines for sleep and naptime.) She also said something along the lines of “Don’t prepare the road for your child; prepare your child for the road.” And that general approach has stuck with me. Also, I loved her reframing of “Try it Out” from “Cry it Out.”**
**Not referring to the CIO method (extinction), just crying in general
- Meredith L., 2-11 weeks
What is “sleep shaping”?
Sleep training means teaching your baby to fall asleep, and back to sleep, independently in their own separate sleep space (which could be in their own room or in your room). Falling asleep independently means they aren’t fed or rocked to sleep or need to be held in order to stay asleep.
Sleep shaping is a term used to describe a form of newborn sleep training, because it is a more gradual process that occurs over the entire first 3 months of life, establishing patterns and habits from birth that set the foundation for healthy sleep.
Sleep training ≠ night weaning - unless there are medical issues, babies are generally capable of sleeping an uninterrupted 11-12 hour stretch overnight without eating by the time they are about 12 weeks old, but you can enjoy the benefits of independent sleep *even if* you are still feeding overnight!
Sleep training ≠ Cry It Out (CIO). CIO, also known as extinction, is just one method of sleep training. Teaching independent sleep can be accomplished through a range of newborn specific methods and families can choose whichever one feels right for them and for their baby.
“Sleep shaping” is just another name for “sleep training” that is specifically used when talking about newborns. Since people use the term “sleep training” to mean a wide variety of things, let’s pause a moment so I can define what I mean when I use these terms.
Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma
Newborn Edition
This program is for motivated mommas who want to set themselves and their baby up for success from the very start. Through 1:1 coaching and support with an expert in both infant sleep and maternal mental health, you can feel confident in caring for your newborn and be successful in teaching your baby to sleep independently and to be able to sleep 11-12 hours uninterrupted by approximately 12 weeks of age - allowing you to get the rest you need to preserve your sanity and be the best momma you can be for your little one!
We can get started in just 24-48 hours!
Let’s get started! You’ll complete a questionnaire so I can understand your concerns and goals for your first few months with your baby. I’ll review your answers and then create a completely customized coaching strategy and sleep shaping plan for your family so that over the course of the program, we will cover everything YOU need to feel confident in all aspects of caring for your newborn, to be successful in starting to teach independent sleep from birth, and ultimately guide your baby to be able to sleep 11-12 hours uninterrupted by approximately 12 weeks of age - allowing you to get the rest you need to preserve your sanity and be the best momma you can be for your little one!
Step 1: Assessment
Coaching
Coaching calls are customized to the topics that are relevant to your situation and to ensure we cover everything YOU need to be successful with helping your newborn learn to sleep an uninterrupted 11-12 stretch by 12 weeks of age. Between your sleep shaping plan and the coaching calls, you'll get the answers you'll need to feel confident in the following topics: full feedings, handling common feeding issues, daytime routines, wake windows, naptime/bedtime routines, creating a safe sleep environment conducive to restful sleep, gently stretching nighttime feedings to eventually start sleeping through the night, dealing with the crying, troubleshooting short naps, and so much more!
In between calls, you will be implementing the Sleep Shaping Plan. I will be here holding your (virtual) hand the whole way!
Email check-ins. Daily text support/log review available for an additional fee. Overnight care shifts, during which I engage in the process of sleep shaping while you rest is also available for families local to Denver, CO. See below for more information on these add-on services.
Implementation
You did it! I will send you my graduation guide, “We Sleep Trained, Now What?” This guide covers daytime/nighttime sleep needs, recommended wake windows, and sample schedules for every age from birth through age 2 so you can be confident your baby is continuing to get the rest they need as their sleep needs change! This guide also covers all of the most common sleep disruptors through the infant and toddler years and how to deal with them.
You will also be invited to join a private Facebook group for Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma graduates where you can get follow-up support and additional education and resources as your baby grows!
Follow-Up Support
My Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma - Newborn Edition program is designed to begin before the baby arrives, so if your baby is already here, but you're still looking for 1:1 coaching and support and hoping to get your baby sleeping through the night as quickly as possible, we can create a customized coaching package based on your baby's age!
For newborns 0-8 weeks
Baby Already Here?
Book Your Free 15-Minute Discovery Call
Still Have Questions About the
Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma - Newborn Edition Program?
Want to Discuss a Custom Package for Your 0-8 Week Old?
Hiring a sleep consultant is a big investment and I want to make sure that you are ready, that my philosophies are the right fit for your parenting style, and that my services will help you to accomplish your specific goals!
If it turns out I'm not a good fit for you, I’ll help connect you to another sleep consultant or to other resources to better meet your needs!
Add-On Services
the following services are available as add-ons to the sleeping baby, sane Momma - Newborn edition Program:
unlimited daily text support
and log review
- $147/week
- $497/month
- $1,197/3 months
This service Includes unlimited (within reason) daily text and/or voice support via Voxer for day-to-day questions about feedings, sleep, and any and all new parents worries and wonderings! You can also send photos if handwritten or provide your login info if virtual so I can review your logs to provide more detailed troubleshooting for any issues you may be having with feedings, naps, bedtime, or the general schedule/routine.
Overnight Care and Support
For families local to Denver, CO
Scheduled for 10 to 12-hour shifts - $55/hour
Upon arriving, I start with a check-in with one or both parents to answer any questions and agree on the plan for the night. I will take over care of your baby as much as possible for the full duration of the shift, depending on your feeding plan. I will provide basic lactation support if chestfeeding, prepare and feed with bottles of pumped milk and/or formula, change diapers, soothe as needed between feedings according to your preferred methods for sleep shaping, wash all bottles/pump parts, and store/label any expressed milk.
*Due to limited availability, I am currently offering standalone overnight care and support services by referral only.
Additional Services
the following newborn services are available a la carte:
Pre-Delivery Consultation
This consultation includes:
- 90-minute video call OR 2-hour home visit (for families local to Denver, CO)
- Baby Registry Guide: “All the Baby Sh*t You Need (And Don’t!)”
The video call or home visit is scheduled for some point during your 3rd trimester, but you can schedule as far in advance as you would like - the guides will be sent as soon as you book.
During the consultation, we will do a [virtual] walk-through of different areas of your home (usually the kitchen, family/living room, nursery, and master bedroom if room-sharing). I will evaluate your space and provide education and assistance in setting up one or more safe sleep spaces, your baby monitor, changing stations, feeding stations, and systems for storing milk and preparing and washing bottles and pump parts. I also use a newborn doll to provide instruction and and offer feedback as you practice diaper changes, swaddling, bottle feeding positions, burping positions, and soothing techniques.
We’ll also go over any questions you have about which products to buy and how to use products you’ve purchased. We will review the Postpartum Care Plan to ensure you feel confident about your plans for feeding, supporting healthy sleep habits, and ensuring your optimal mental well-being during the postpartum period. If requested, I can provide referrals to local resources and professionals you may wish to reach out to before or after the baby arrives.
virtual consultation
In-person consultation
First-WEEK Home Consultation
this consultation includes
- 90-minute video call or 2-hour home visit (for families local to Denver, CO)
The consultation will be tentatively scheduled for some point during the week of your due date. You can schedule as far in advance as you would like (the guides will be sent as soon as you book), and then we will finalize the time for your video call or home visit once the baby arrives. Depending on my availability, we can schedule for your very first night home from the hospital/birthing center or any time during that first week.
During the consultation we will [virtually] walk through different areas of your home (usually the kitchen, family/living room, nursery, and master bedroom if room-sharing). I will evaluate your set-up and make sure your baby’s sleep space follows all safe sleep guidelines. I will provide education and assistance as needed in setting up your baby monitor, changing stations, feeding stations, and systems for storing milk and preparing and washing bottles and pump parts. I will also provide demonstrations (using my newborn doll if virtual) and observe and offer feedback as you practice swaddling, burping, and soothing, and try out different feeding positions.
I will also answer any questions you have about products you’ve purchased and how best to use them. We will review the Postpartum Care Plan and First Two Weeks guide to ensure you feel confident about basic care tasks such as diapering/dressing/bathing, your plans for feeding, supporting healthy sleep habits, and ensuring your optimal mental well-being during the postpartum period. If requested, I can provide referrals to local resources and professionals to provide additional specialized support.
virtual consultation
In-person consultation
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
It is a common misconception that sleep training can’t begin until a baby is a certain age or weight. I’ve heard everything from older than 3-4 months, over 6 months, over a year if baby is breastfed, not until baby has doubled their birth weight, etc.
Yes, some methods of sleep training are better suited to older babies.
Yes, newborns are not ready or able to go all night without eating until at least 8-12 weeks, and even babies older than 12 weeks still may not be able to drop their last overnight feed for a variety of reasons (e.g. due to their daytime feeding schedule, slow weight gain, or mom’s milk supply, to name a few).
But NO, sleep training - meaning teaching your baby to fall asleep and fall back asleep independently - can begin from birth! "Sleep shaping" is exactly that but specifically for newborns and is a gradual process that occurs over the entire first 3 months of life, establishing patterns and habits from birth that set the foundation for healthy sleep. Better sleep for both you and baby can start FROM THE VERY BEGINNING - it’s up to you!*
*I do always recommend consulting with your pediatrician to make sure there are no medical issues that would make it ill-advised for your newborn to begin learning independent sleep.
I support families with both newborns (0-12 weeks) and older babies (3-12 months).
My Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma - Newborn Edition program is designed to begin before your baby arrives and provides 1:1 support for the first 12 weeks of your baby’s life. This program can also be customized based on your baby’s age if starting after you have brought your baby home, but a custom newborn package must be started prior to 8 weeks.
If your newborn is already 8 weeks old, I recommend my standard, infant Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma program, just with the first four coaching calls spaced over four weeks, rather than two.
My infant program is designed for babies 3-12 months. Learn more here.
What sleep SHAPING methods do you use? can we do Gentle or No-Cry methods? OR WILL I HAVE TO LET MY BABY CRY IT OUT?
One huge advantage to working with a sleep consultant is that I am familiar with ALL the methods out there and can educate you on the various pros and cons of each. While there are many books out there on infant sleep, many don't adequately cover newborn sleep shaping.
I do have a couple “favorite” methods that I’ve developed myself based on all my years of experience as a Newborn Care Specialist. That said, I am supportive of all age-appropriate methods and my goal is to help you choose the method that is best for you and your baby.
I don’t refer to any sleep training/shaping method as “gentle” because 1) it’s shaming language that implies that other methods are “harsh” or “mean,” which isn’t true and only furthers the stigma around sleep training in general, 2) what feels gentle to one baby may not for another, and 3) the implied goal of “gentle” methods is less crying, but they usually take longer to work which can result in more total crying so I feel this is misleading. I prefer the terms more interactive vs less interactive, more hands on vs hands off, or parent-present vs giving space.
Unfortunately, I believe that “no-cry” or “tear-free” methods are a marketing ploy. While in the womb, a baby is constantly held and never hungry. Life outside the womb is obviously different, but many parents sacrifice their own sleep and sanity for weeks and months in an effort to prevent their baby from ever being uncomfortable. Whether you start early or later, babies eventually have to adjust to being in the world, and expecting your baby to make this adjustment without ANY crying at all is completely unrealistic. A huge part of what I do though is help minimize the crying as much as possible, and teach you how to cope effectively when it does happen!
- 3+ months of 1:1 coaching and support including pre-delivery and for 12 weeks after your baby arrives
- Pre-delivery coaching and support includes:
- One 60-minute first week home call to visually check your baby’s safe sleep space; to provide demonstrations (using my newborn doll) and observe and offer feedback if you need help practicing swaddling, burping, and soothing, and/or trying out different feeding positions; and to answer any burning questions you have now that you are home with baby
- Five 45-minute coaching calls (recommended to schedule at approximately 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 weeks) to go over the topics listed below as well as any additional topics specific to your baby's situation and the specific areas you are wanting to build confidence:
- Registry guide: “All the Baby Sh*t You Need”
- “Postpartum Care Plan and Workbook”
- One 60-minute video call to evaluate your home setup and provide assistance in setting up one or more safe sleep spaces, your baby monitor, changing stations, feeding stations, and systems for storing milk and preparing and washing bottles and pump parts; to go over any questions you have about which products to buy and how to use products you’ve purchased; and to discuss your plans for feeding and making sure you have everything you need to support your postpartum recovery practically and emotionally
- Feedings (general tips for all feeding methods, how often and how much to feed, getting full feedings, etc.)
- Daytime routines and week by week "schedule" guidelines
- Setting up a sleep environment that is both safe and conducive to restful sleep
- Naptime and bedtime routines
- Newborn-specific methods for teaching independent sleep
- Coping strategies for dealing with crying and other situations that may trigger anxiety
- PDF “Newborn Sleep Shaping” guide with sections to take notes during coaching calls and write down all your questions
- 6 email check-ins (at approximately 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11 weeks) to answer questions about upcoming well-check ups, routines, troubleshooting, etc. and anything else you are wondering about in between coaching calls
- One 30-minute wrap up call at approximately 12 weeks to discuss planning for the future
- Graduation guide: "We Sleep Trained, Now What?" This guide covers daytime and nighttime sleep needs, recommended wake windows, and sample schedules for every age from birth through age 2 so you can be confident your baby is continuing to get the rest they need as their sleep needs change! This guide also covers all of the most common sleep disruptors through the infant and toddler years and how to deal with them.
- Access to my private Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma Facebook group to get follow-up support and additional education and resources as your baby grows!
*In-person overnight care and sleep shaping support is available at an additional cost for families local to Denver, CO.
Correct. There is some overlap between therapy and coaching/consulting (I use “coaching” and “consulting” interchangeably) - both can help address a variety of mental, emotional, and relational challenges, can deepen self-awareness, teach coping skills, collaborate in solving specific problems, and improve general well-being.
Psychotherapy is considered a medical treatment for a mental health disorder - it can only be provided by a licensed clinician, who is subject to the laws and ethics of the state boards in which they practice. A therapist diagnoses the client and develops an appropriate treatment plan, which may include psychoeducation and teaching coping skills in order to better manage symptoms, but also involves implementing various therapeutic techniques in an effort to treat or heal various forms of mental distress.
Coaching, on the other hand, is offered by professionals from many educational backgrounds and does not have a state- or federally-regulated scope of practice. While coaching may be offered by licensed therapists, in this service these clinicians are not performing a medical role: even though they are qualified to do so, they do not diagnose and they do not provide medical treatment for a mental disorder. Again, even though a licensed therapist has the training to do so, as a coach it would be inappropriate to dig into any deeper, underlying mental or emotional issues that may be contributing to the present problem for which coaching is intended to solve.
While my hope is that the Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma - Newborn Edition program would be incredibly beneficial for mommas experiencing postpartum mood issues, this program is not therapy, does not substitute for therapy, and does not prevent, cure, or treat any mental disorder or medical disease. If I believe you would benefit from further assessment and possible treatment for a postpartum mood or anxiety disorder, I will provide referrals and help get you connected to an appropriate provider in your state. Unfortunately, even if you live in a state where I am licensed, due to the ethics of my therapy license, I am not able to provide therapy services to clients I have already worked with as a sleep consultant. If you are already working with a therapist and would like me to speak with them before or during our time working together in the Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma program, I am happy to do that! You will just need to ask them for a release of information form to give permission for them to contact me.
I’ve never had parents be unsuccessful with newborn sleep shaping who followed the plan I outlined (or any changes we agreed on together), communicated clearly with me, and were consistent in their efforts. So basically it’s up to you how successful this process will be - I am here to educate, guide, encourage, and support you every way that I can, but I’m not the person who is putting your newborn down at certain times or deciding exactly how to respond when they cry - you have to do the work!
Because of the nature of the service I provide, I literally can’t offer a guarantee, since success is dependent on if and how you are implementing the plan I give you. However, if you do not feel satisfied with your baby’s progress by the time he or she reaches 12 weeks of age (adjusted), and as long as you are communicating with me and being consistent in your efforts, then I will provide a full reassessment, updated sleep plan, and an additional week of daily support to help you reach your goals.
The Sleeping Baby, Sane Momma - Newborn Edition program is my signature newborn program because I believe it has everything a momma needs to be successful in helping her baby to sleep an uninterrupted 11-12 hours overnight by 12 weeks of age. If you’re looking for something different or at a different budget, email me at tara@arenewedmomma.com with what you’re looking for and/or what your budget is and I’ll let you know if I can offer a different package to meet your needs!
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